Where is God ?

Very often I cry myself to sleep. Waking up with the pillow soaked with tears from my eyes and with a huge eye bag in the morning. Even after crying myself to sleep I only get the maximum of 4 hours of sleep per day. Reasons to this tears comes from various reasons such as a bad relationship, broken family, friendships that aren't pure, financial and career wise. I've always dream't of having a perfect life, such as having a relationship with someone who would love me for who I am and would accepts my flaws and annoyingness, a life full with blessings and a life that goes according to plan. However it never felt a little bit like that. I still get cheated by girls who are just interested to fulfill their own needs and friends that use me just for their own benefits. Furthermore it is so hard to get a job with high racism in the country and the high unemployment rate in the country. I want to come out successful in life and would like to be able to be self-supportive and not to rely on my parents.

In the midst of all the issues I very often cry out to God asking him to help me! It says that if we cry out to him, he would listen to our prayers and to answer them. I've been asking for so many things but I've always been disappointed. The only way I know he is listening to my prayers is when I'm praying for others. However when it comes to myself I've never seen him answering my prayers regarding myself. I always find myself being lonely, in hurt, pain, regrets, and sorrow. God if you are listening to my prayers why aren't you answering my prayer? Why aren't you healing my pain? Why is justice not spoken? Why am I found to be in cross-roads? Why am I always being hurt? Why am I not moving in my life? WHERE ARE YOU GOD? In the midst of the storm you said to be still and know that he is God. I've been still for too long! Where are you? I need you to change my life and bring healing to me! I want to feel unconditional love! I want to feel worth! I want to feel heard!

To end this post I would like to share a youtube video...


Laura Story - blessings